Yes. The rumors are true. I will be graduating this quarter, and will not come back for the next academic year. After all, undergraduate curricula are meant to be completed in four years.
Many mistakes have I made in these four years. I have learned from some of my mistakes. And I am inherently bound to make some mistakes over and over. Am I ultimately a fuck up? Only time can tell. But I do regret making a few of those monumental errors in my life. So many opportunities have I lost due to my insensitivity... nay, my god damn stupidity. The opportunity costs of those forgone chances are something that I never accept, and can only strive to barely tolerate.
Damn... Perchance I am a fuck up. I have failed to produce that killer app and get rich off an IPO. I will probably never win the Nobel Prize, the Turing Award, or a Pulitzer. I have failed to save the world from hunger and poverty. I think you get the picture. I have failed to achieve greatness. In a few months, I will be 23 and an unhappy unemployed bum, still mooching off my parents. Yes. It has just been decided. I am a fuck up.
But perhaps it is not my inability to reach immortality that makes me a worthless piece of shit. I have ultimately failed to win the heart of my soulmate. Ah... perhaps she's not even my soulmate. Three year of fabricated emotions and feigned affection... Bursting of the bubble can hardly be benign for my poor, ailing heart. But damn.. I am left with a void. Anyway, I have failed to experience true love. I hate myself.
As good Nietzche has said, the self-despiser nevertheless esteems himself as the self-despiser. I have hit the bottom, and have nothing to lose now. You could reasonable conclude that I had a miserable life. I am bitter as hell at myself and the world. But don't get me wrong. I still love living. I just want her to be happy, even though I have been conveniently erased from her picture of happiness.
Farewell my dear. Farewell to college. Farewell to my four years of grief and agony. Farewell to whoever is reading this, for this is the last time that I shall express my despair through this medium. Farewell, farewell! | 
